Bunty Aur Bubli

i watched the new abhishek bachan-rani mukherjee flick this afternoon. considering the fact that my hindi, over the past five years, has deteriorated to next to nothing, i did have fun. Abhishek Bachan is Eye Candy and if there is one thing going for the movie, that is it!!!
the movie is cute and abhishek bachan and rani mukherjee make one of the cutest couple i've seen in indian cinema. apart from these two, there's the big b who plays the only other significant role and there is aishwarya rai in a song. and the song of aishwarya's in the movie is one of the best!!! the woman tries to seduce old man amitabh in the process making a fool of herself and there is abhishek bachan who is the cutest cutest and most good looking hero i've drooled over in a while..(oh and shah rukh in his new movie 'paheli' is real cute too...the mustache does wonders for the man)..

on the whole...the movie is good fun...but i enjoyed the aishwarya-abhishek-amitabh song the most throughout the movie, of course thats the same way i enjoyed the g-u-j-j-u gujju song in kal ho na ho, the most in the movie. though i have to say bunty and bubli as a movie has a lot more going for it than kal ho na ho did.

the only saving grace of kal ho na ho was saif man....him and his comedy...and i got dragged to that movie twice!!!! seriously...

getting back to bunty and bubli...amitabh is just ok. and he looks so haggard its unbelievable...maybe thats what they aimed for in the movie...
the last movie i watched in that theatre was a shahrukh and rani mukherjee movie that was horrid!!! they only cried throughout the movie. and it was set in greece!!! and shah rukh cried more than mukherjee did...i'm all for guy's showing their sensitive side and crying once in a while but that..that was overdoing it royally...and compared to that movie bunty and bubli is a winner all the way!!!

the UNSC seat and india's worthiness???

ok...this is pretty much the talk of the town...literally...so maybe its time i put my thoughts down..

i believe India deserves her place on the UNSC. lets not get too scrutinizing here...then those on the SC should be subjected to the same...and well they'd be squirming... we need to have representation and better india than china anyday... as a country, i believe, we are more forthcoming with help, sympathy and a shoulder to lean on....and maybe this is my patriotism speaking...but, i'd vouch for india on the UNSC over any of the other developing nations...

now...the conditions of the people of the nation, the states over is pathetic and there are no reasons to justify such apologetic conditions. But lets not blame the center for that...at least not target them first. it is the state goverments responsibility to care for its people, thats why you have a separate govt for every state, if not we could have just done with one govt up there in delhi.

each state has ministers delegated work.and there are those at the centre with the same portfolios.why cant we leave the honchos at the centre handle our international ties and start targetting the lazy ministers at each state??
i mean, the whole govt set-up is that parallel to any industry. the main guy at the top, the comapny's face to the world. then the various ministers to take care of the various hitches within the company. like say a car company with numerous factories manufacturing each part to make the ride of the customer that much more comfortable and enjoyable. and each factory has its own head, its own personnel to deal with the varied everyday problems. why cant the indian govt be a well oiled and smoothly running operation as are so many companies in the country itself?? truth be told, the comcept of red-tape-ism is such an excuse as never before...its disgusting to know that theer are men and women out there who promised to make life that teeny bit better for you and then once they got elected, turned around for a nice big snooze with you paying for his air-conditioning,food,big car and flight charges through your taxes.... i mean seriously...

i sometimes that nothing short of dramatics like in mani rathnam's ' aayitha ezhuthu' can give this country its much need shot of energy....and i'm game.... i mean what could be better than educating the ignorant and helping the country grow as one??? i know that sounds pretty corny...but wht the hell!!! i mean it man...and i think anyone who does actually care enough to debate on india's UNSC chances has pretty solid views too...

its , to say the least, endearing....very...maybe we should form a youth-for-india group or something and make miracles happen.....and miracles no less they have to be....

what is right and what is not??

How do you know if your advice is right for the situation? how do u know how it is to be in a specific situation? and are you perfect enough to judge anyone? do we know what the other person is going through? how can we know thoughts of theirs?? how is it, that we judge another by our morals? are our morals right?? isn't it true that 'one man's bread is another's poison' ??

these are just random questions that popped into my head when a couple of us were discussing a friend of ours. she's nice and smart but there seem, to me, to be innumerable faults that just so shadow the good...see...i'm making a judgement here...and all of us have always passed judgements on her and her behaviour these past couple of years...

she went away to study,study abroad. now, she's coming back...and i dont know if i want to meet her....i dont know if i'm being a bitch here, for she has never done anything to annoy me or get me to hate her...but there are things she has done... to people i know and general things.. i don't think i respect her too much really.... but then again who am i to say if what she did was right or not?

maybe that is her way of reacting to incidents and happenings...all of us react in different ways to different things... maybe more complicated ways... and for her defence i'll say this...she's not had enough tragedies in her life... more than most people ,me included, can handle ... and i admire her for that.... for actually being able to get on ... though it has never been that simple for her to move on...

i just dont know... i like her...but there are also things i could never forgive or accept.. and yes these are my morals(values..whatever) talking....
its simple enough to forgive...but forgetting isn't so easy and more often than not...the thing that needs or wants forgetting is something big enough to modify your perspective, of the world and all its accompaniments....

well saying all this doesn't exactly resolve anything... but i think i'll go meet her anyway....she's a friend and she's got more substance than some and we all know that nobody is without faults.... isn't it about overlooking the faults that make a relationship???

Holi-Holi-Holidays

Exams just got over today...and i did well....i actually got 4 out of 5 sixteen marks right!!! and the feeling is so so so good!!! i mean its so rare for me to actually walk out of some exam and say hey i did that well, i'm expecting a 90...i think my parents would have a heart attack!!!!

it was like unbelievable that all my answers were right!!!!man u know how good that feels???anyway let me not go on rambling about my exams, now that they are over...until the results come!!

so.....its the holidays...i dont have to do anything remotely as killing as studying.....and it feels great to have that off my shoulder(like i did a load of it anyway!!!!)...
i think i've got the next one month mapped out though.....reading ,exercising ,maybe a stint training at some company lucky enough to have me, preparing for the almighty G-R-E....and catching up on some movies...and well....i guess anything else that comes my way and takes my fancy and maybe even roll out a couple of papers in the mean time and shock my HOD....hmmm...now thats a thought that makes u wanna move ur ass!!!!

anyway...i think i'm gonna catch up on some of the shut eye i missed while studying hard for my math paper...so...

OH MY GOD!!! she's wearing...she's..wearing..

Seriously haven't men in madras seen a pair of legs before?? haven't they seen women wearing shorts??? and i mean shorts man!!! it not like i'm wearing a bikini and strutting around town am i??

Its gross...its disgusting...i mean seriously...wearing shorts and walking around in madras turns SO many heads and its to lech..
and i swear that if anyone gives me crap about 'then maybe you shouldnt be wearing them', i'll whack them twice as hard as i want to whack the guy on the road...

but sometimes, i accept, its flattering...when u actually know that you can have that guy eating out of your hand.....gives u the hey-i've-got-u-by-the-ear feeling....

but its not just men either...women look at u like ur commiting a crime...pattis on the road avoid looking you in the eye and this morning at the airport,while dropping daddy off, two women there looked at me in my shorts and my doggie t-shirt and were looking and whipering till i drove off...its unbelievable!!!
you'd think i was some convicted murderer or something they recognised off television!!!

but then again no one till now has had the guts to do anything more than stop and stare at me...seriously man they are not gonna mess with a woman who'd actually walk around the city streets wearing a pair of SHORTS!!!!! it takes too much attitude....more than they can handle anyway...

for all the nice people in the world...and especially...

well...what can i say...this afternoon had me in one of my weirdest moods ever. i mean seriously. for no apparent reason i was all down and irritated and annoyed and bugged(i'm trying hard to find words to replace 'pissed' here).and it didnt help my mood that the blog i was typing then just went poof..and got lost....an hour's precious work. and then the fact that i should be studying and wasn't. add to that an email account that evades opening for you and when it finally does...gives you nothing new !! so all in all it was afternoon that was bad! and then came along our man. sweetie that he is....sat and listened and took all the crap i said for the next hour or so...i mean seriously, he didnt have to. but he did. and am i glad he did. he just hung around and made me laugh and cracked me up and well...he was being such a nice shoulder to lean on and blah..

i was so wound up that i know, that had i spoken to anyone who went around saying 'wht happ sweetie' and 'tell me whts wrong' and had let me whine..i'd have cried..i know it...and i feel so much the better for not giving in to that.

it was a pretty novel way actually....getting at each other and then actually being nice and then his advice on nuts!!

i know this is somewhat a senti-senti blog and all...and i might regret putting it up later...but what the hell!!! btw the sweet heart was archan!!!(i kinda hope i'm embarrasing him actually!!)
:)

indian women rule!!!

this is a mail i got, forwarded by a friend....they first part really turned me off...and i wanted to whack the woman.....but then there was the reply ....and it rules....seriously the guy needs a hug....a big one!!! and can u imagine it actually motivated me to write my blog....something i havent done in months!!


This letter was written in response to an article:

Dear Editor:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male, good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't
understand a lot of Indian female's attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women
were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world

If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public.

I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we white women are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.

But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better.

If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

> >----------------------------------------------------------------->>

The Response:

Dear Editor:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestn!ut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want the 'Disgusted White Girl' to be misinformed.

Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.

Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin. If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understand my struggles. I
am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,

Indian Royalty.

well...doesn't it want to make u give his highness, whoever stood up for us ...a nice kiss even!!!

and i'm back!!!!

well.....its been a while....and i'm back!!!! i've lost count of how long its been since i posted a blog...and so much has happened..nothing juicy, atleast not to me but generally lots has happened in the past couple of weeks..i have just about time to put up a poem i wrote in that time....and here goes....

You go someplace
Meet someone
Talk.

You find common interests
Get excited
Share.

You find maybe(?) , a potential friend
Swap numbers
Asta la vista.

You call one another
Catch a movie
Laugh.

You find things more fun with each other
Share books, music, clothes and company
Together.

You are friends, shared identities
Maybe alter egos
Great.

Your friend goes someplace
Meets someone
Talks.

You meet your friend
Talk about your friend’s friend
Pillar of strength.

You call to meet
But your friend’s got other plans
Second.

You do meet, but encounter conversational gaps
Secrets unshared
You and I.

You discover new dimensions to your friend
That you don’t relate to
Withdraw.

You keep busy, you keep quiet
Your friend calls
Hope.

You talk
About other people
Sidestep.

You are friends, you don’t talk
You never fought

Just Estranged.

so thats what i wrote.......and well its a personal experience...not a particularly bad one but it isn't something pleasant for anyone to want to go throught it all the time ....anywayz..thats that...

flirting with rain...

This is something I wrote right at the beginning of my initial travails of writing poetry. Funny thing about my writing poetry is about how, the poem comes to me..the actual subject of my poem would take root in my head, triggered of by some incident or the other, and it flows. I’m not trying to make it sound like I’m a literary figure to who poetry just occurs but the truth is that once I find a beginning of a poem in my head it usually just completes itself...sure I don’t always get it right the first time, I have to try various words, even look up some and try a few permutations-combinations to get exactly what I want..and then my end product..

Well..here’s one of the first couple I wrote..I kinda shocked myself actually but what the hell...and once I showed it to others to read, they were the ones who were so so shocked. I won’t give you excuses for this even before you have a chance to read what it is...so here goes..

FLIRTING WITH RAIN

There’s the growl
The roar from his throat
A sound like thunder but
Also a moan

There’s the spark
The spark of passion,
In his eyes
That’s as bright as lightning
And then, dark as dread

Then the bites,
Small and tiny,
Hands, legs, necks, legs,
Little pecks
A million of them
Like countless mosquito bites

Blowing hot, blowing cold
Drenched in sweat and feeling froze
Slow and gradual he takes you there,
Hot and humid, he’s got you there
Wanting....

There you are, thirsting,
Quenching is slow
Like flirting with rain
First inconsequential drizzles
Then the gradual build-up
Then the pelting, then the hail
Till you’re crying, till you wail !!!


Now...like I said people...its got its shock-value....

kitchen confidential

Kitchen Confidential….that’s the book I finished reading today. Its an autobiography by Antony Bourdain. I’d never heard of the guy till before I got my hands on the book.

Thing is, a couple of years ago I wouldn’t have ever considered reading an autobiography. I mean why would someone want to read something so boring??, Would have been my wonderful yet-to-be-truly-enlightened brain’s immediate response. And I might have still gone with that response of my brain if I hadn’t discovered the pleasure of baking and now, cooking. Though baking remains my forte and love, an autobiography of a man in a line parallel to my interest made me want to read it, get through it. And best of all, I enjoyed getting through the book. Once I got through the first couple of chapters, namely the appetizers, I couldn’t wait to get to each next course. And were they all good !!!!

The guy is so straight. No sweet talking, boot-licking for him. Sure, he dissed some, he praised some. He tells you about his drug-addicted, booze infested and dope years. He tells you of his love for all things that crawl, swim, creep, walk and just live (apart from homosapiens). Of his irritancy for vegetarianism. His numerous failures. Of what happens in most restaurants. Of the amounts of food recycled. Of what your brunch is made of. Of the not-so-endearing conditions in which your food is prepared.

The best part of the whole book is that Bourdain manages to bring through his love for meat, the absolutely unhygienic atrocities committed by various cooks and chefs while at the same time not annoying or upsetting ardent food-lovers who love eating out or vegetarians. But that is my view.

Everything said, Bourdain is truly refreshing, honest, humorous and gratifying.

One more time……

and so you’re waiting , once again
one more day of empty promises
is it worth it? is it not?
a question to be suppressed
for now , you think.
‘sorry sweetie ,got held up
things took a while
and couldn’t give up
i’ll make it up to you soon, you know i will’
nd things are back to normal
all’s well and good with the world
you say ‘one more time and……’
a day later comes one more time
and a call,
a friend who saw him
at your special place,
sharing a drink,
holding hands,
with another girl
stunned, speechless ,sad ,angry ,disbelieving
emotions like a flash of lightning
revenge ,you think,
but then again,
that sad pathetic idiot
isn’t worth your quiet
two hoots, you could give
but, crying over spilt milk?
That isn’t your style!!
Life will go on, that’s the course of things
But next time……..you’ll be ready
‘coz that pill ain’t going down your throat,
a second time buddy!!!!

Robbed

first robbed of breath
and blinded
by a love, not intended
then caught in a whirlwind,
to be robbed of my sense of direction;
every minute with you was heaven
every minute away, I dreamt of heaven
thus you stole
my sense of time
by sneaking out and egging me to lie,
I lost all sense of right and wrong;
you said ‘I love you’ and I lost
my soul
you said ‘lets run’, I lost myself
now you’ve left, for no good reason
bereft and alone,
I’ve lost all hope
robbed of everything,
except life….
Is that good or is that not??

love came ....

Love came one day
On a cold,wintry day
Of relentless winds and unforgiving cold
Knocking on my door
To bring me warmth
‘what do you want?’ I asked
‘a place to stay’ came the reply
‘i’m sorry but I can’t ‘ said I
‘its alright, I’ll stay on the porch then’ said love
‘if it suits you,its fine with me ‘ I said
and through all those days
and winter months
love camped on my doorstep
‘taking shelter, till spring comes along
if I may?’
‘sure, any little help I can do
to make you happy,I’ll try’
I said
Time flew in between shared dinners
and story telling
winter went its way, as it always does
and spring came along, as it always does
bringing with it blooming trees
blossoming flowers, twittering birds
happy faces , cheer and joy
and love stayed on
for me. (forever).

If beauty be what I see....

If beauty be what I see
Then beauty is a rarity
For rare is the event
That I see
A genuine smile lighting up
In sweet grace
Styled hair and a plastered smile
Seem to me, to be everywhere
Doesn’t man get tired to see
These dolls stationed everywhere?
With empty heads and selfish hearts
Beauty found at a local mart
Pity ebbs to see them smile
Why god,
Do you commit such crimes?
Heavenly maidens on this earth
Of perfect features and overflowing mirth
Girlish laughter and innocence
Are they extinct or the flawless of goddesses?

Moment of Truth

the second that all the world will stop
and then erupt with chaos-
of no precedence
when politicians will decry
all promises made by rye
when all industrial giants, they
follow the handbook of honesty
when each teacher puts foremost-
education
when all caste, creed and religion denounced
by the men of god, so pronounced
color will be no barrier thence
when petty thieves and robbers will
find words for their vent,
when all war will find
a place to end
then, judgment passed
each one his own,
then chaos and lies again,
a complicated mess
from beginning to end

lady of the night

Lady of the night
Cloaked in white
Of light from
The sun, so bright
Beauty she is,
To all who behold her
Loving by night,
Leaving at first light
Coaxing even owls to wake
Shedding light on lonely shapes
Inspiring every poet alive
Witnessing tears from a million eyes
Watching children in peaceful sleep
Lovers fight and lovers weep
And the homeless take a great deep breathe,
For a day gone by, in quiet relief
Gently she rocks, all to sleep
Just for a little while
Amid dreams and peace
And in the waking of the eye,
She’s chased by the sun
And engulfed by the night,
The moon, mistress of light.

……I don’t know what to title it…..

I know you too well
To say I don’t know
Your beautiful expressive eyes
Clouded with tears
Endless rivulets of salty
Waters down your cheeks
Full lips in a thin line
Quivering and quaking
Disaster strikes everyone
You’ve just got to stand up and fight
If I could be there
You know I would
But the die is cast
And the coins moved
Decisions made can’t be unmade
But life has been good, for you and for me
Don’t waste it now in sorrow or bury yourself in fear
For, every flower you enjoy, withers at the end of the day
But a new one blooms, the very next and the fragrance remains
Such is love, for the loved one passes but the love remains
If, when a new one comes, it may fade a little but ever remain
So loose not hope till the last breath you take
So loose not hope every minute of the day
For in loving you I found, sunshine is for everyman’s hay
As long as he’s alive that day

Engineers…MBAs…Economics…

It was an argument that a friend of mine brought up a couple of days back…..’why do you engineers, after your engineering degree want to do an MBA or a course in finance or economics and take our jobs too?’….my friend who raised this argument is finishing her commerce degree this year. If anybody else had argued the case I would have just shrugged it off with a you-should-be-smart-enough-to-hold-a-job gibe but she is one of my closest pals from school and that remark of hers got me thinking.

Most of us engineers never stop to think of the number of people, with degrees got over three years, who we put out of jobs every year.

It doesn’t take anyone too long to figure out whether the CEO of a company is going to back a candidate with an Engineering degree or one with a B.Sc or B.Comm degree. And why are we the pets of numerous prospective employers??? Because we’ve done a ‘professional’ course.

Just how many of us actually take up “professional” jobs ?how many engineers take up call center jobs every year? How many many engineers do an MBA- IIM or otherwise? How many engineers go back to the family business or get married? How many engineers of electronics, electrical, chemical and mechanical take up jobs in IT consultancy firms each year? Aren’t engineers with an MBA considered quite a combination / catch- for a job or a marriage? Just how many people in our lives have we met who take up one line of pursuit in education and in their career? Aren’t they more or less novelties?

In my three years of engineering at SVCE, whether or not I’ve become more knowledgeable about my engineering discipline, what I have gained are valuable insights and experiences in dealing with various kinds of people, lessons in team work, general knowledge in engineering, the knowledge that everything is inter-related and that more often than not engineering is just logic, common sense and an in-depth analysis backed by mathematical data, just as everything else is too. And its not just engineers from anywhere who don’t get engineering job opportunities without experience, even engineers from IITs face similar problems.

So just as it is mandatory for a good doctor to know the chemicals present in the drugs he prescribes so that he can account for back-firing drugs and side-effects, just as it is a done-deal that most textile designers know the dyes, processing chemicals and working of their looms, as any psychiatrist needs to know every patient’s background and daily environment, as every finance minister needs to know the intricacies of the supply and demand of every commodity in the market and their consumers, so too I believe does every engineer need to know his economics, balance sheet management, end-product consumers, competitors, stock-market, ethics, public relations, stress management and a bit of procrastination.

So if we step on a few toes in the process, sorry, but I doubt it can be helped!!!

death, destruction and my dilemma....

We’ve all seen the mass destruction of property, lives, livelihood and hope in the past few days wrought by the onslaught of tsunamis. Its 5 days since the sea quake occurred off the coast of Sumatra and triggered off the numerous tsunamis that attacked India, Sri Lanka, The Maldives, parts of Africa, Thailand and Indonesia.

We’re still finding bodies washed onto shores. There is as yet no ball park accurate figure of the number of people who’ve lost their lives. And there are close to 5 million people dislocated without a roof over their heads. These I’ve been watching on the television and reading in the news, day in and day out for the past few days.

What tremors Chennai felt that Sunday, was lost to me. I’d been sleeping when it occurred, given that it was 6:45 in the morning on a Sunday at the start of my ten day break from college. Even afterwards it never occurred to me that this could be anything of such magnitude as I’ve seen proof of these past few days. I figured it was just another bunch of mild tremors to hit Tamil Nadu, as it happened a couple of years back. Not in my wildest dreams would this have been even a remote scenario.

But its reality. Its happened. There are rescue operations underway in more than 5 countries. Aid from almost every other country and organization. Food and clothes being packed to reach the victims. Politicians visiting the battered families to offer their sympathies and console them. And there are still more dead to be brought ashore or identified. Still more people who haven’t been touched by the helping groups.

It’s new year’s eve. Everybody has put a stop to their entertainment and bringing-in-the-new-year mood to channel that money and energy to help those who need it. I am one of those people.

I’ve contributed money. I’ve contributed clothes. I’m shit freaked of helping with clearing the beaches or helping the hurt ‘coz it will upset me and upset me bad. That’s actually being selfish. But I just can’t think of doing it. The other thing is that I don’t know who to approach to volunteer for helping them pack food, clothes, utensils and medicines that can be distributed. Now that I’m actually putting this down in writing, it seems to me to be more of an excuse. So here I am, sitting in my house safe, praying those hurt and homeless, contributing with clothes and money but not hands on work. I’m irritated with myself. But when I think of volunteering, I think of the number of people already volunteering and of the number of international rescue workers and think of the adage ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’. And then there is also the thought of whether the victims actually do receive all the aid set aside for them. It wouldn’t be the first time that money from genuine causes have been embezzled to fatten the pockets of various middle men. But then again you think, who would be so heartless as to take from these people what they don’t have….

I still don’t know what I’m gonna do, but putting it down on paper has sure helped me….

misty madras mornings...

i was up this morning at 4:20,to drive my mom to the temple.though it wasn't at all pleasing my mom that was foremost on my mind when i offered to drive her but the oppurtunity of getting to drive back alone at a time when my speed and skill wasn't going to be scrutinized was just too good to let it go by...

and...i got what i asked for..empty madras roads(its become such a rare sight), good music and chilly winds....its always a pleasure driving...and when its less than a year since u got your license...its such a treat..especially without my dad in the car....

and on the drive back i actually saw corporation workers laying the road again and workers cleaning up...it was such a sight to actually see all these people up and working when actually all of us have the biggest of misconceptions about how government servants shirk and shy away from what their work...i have seen evidence to counter this thought in the past few weeks....with some vigorous road laying and pavement cleaning(though its at the cost of some lush greenery)..i'm willing to change my opinion...

its not just these people i encountered the roads that has brought about this chnge in my way of thinking...i visited the pollution control board of tamilnadu about a week back with a couple of friends.its a nice building...nothing that'll make heads turn...but clean,functional and ordered..with a very informative library and a very willing and helpful librarian...sure,there were more people than there was work for them to do...but that isn't their fault is it??there were the lazy ones,but isn't that natural of anyone who over time has seen so little of work come their way...they need to be motivated,inspired and made to recognise the impacts of doing something on time and effectively...i think i'm drifting here...

let me just finish up and say that madras has more to offer than most of us residents of the city know of ....it'll take a while for us to discover them and there are lots of compromises too...early mornings...as early as 4 am, driving long distances...reading maps....but of what i've encountered these lat couple of weeks with a map and a car...i'll bet my money..many others would enjoy the sights i've come across too....