death, destruction and my dilemma....

We’ve all seen the mass destruction of property, lives, livelihood and hope in the past few days wrought by the onslaught of tsunamis. Its 5 days since the sea quake occurred off the coast of Sumatra and triggered off the numerous tsunamis that attacked India, Sri Lanka, The Maldives, parts of Africa, Thailand and Indonesia.

We’re still finding bodies washed onto shores. There is as yet no ball park accurate figure of the number of people who’ve lost their lives. And there are close to 5 million people dislocated without a roof over their heads. These I’ve been watching on the television and reading in the news, day in and day out for the past few days.

What tremors Chennai felt that Sunday, was lost to me. I’d been sleeping when it occurred, given that it was 6:45 in the morning on a Sunday at the start of my ten day break from college. Even afterwards it never occurred to me that this could be anything of such magnitude as I’ve seen proof of these past few days. I figured it was just another bunch of mild tremors to hit Tamil Nadu, as it happened a couple of years back. Not in my wildest dreams would this have been even a remote scenario.

But its reality. Its happened. There are rescue operations underway in more than 5 countries. Aid from almost every other country and organization. Food and clothes being packed to reach the victims. Politicians visiting the battered families to offer their sympathies and console them. And there are still more dead to be brought ashore or identified. Still more people who haven’t been touched by the helping groups.

It’s new year’s eve. Everybody has put a stop to their entertainment and bringing-in-the-new-year mood to channel that money and energy to help those who need it. I am one of those people.

I’ve contributed money. I’ve contributed clothes. I’m shit freaked of helping with clearing the beaches or helping the hurt ‘coz it will upset me and upset me bad. That’s actually being selfish. But I just can’t think of doing it. The other thing is that I don’t know who to approach to volunteer for helping them pack food, clothes, utensils and medicines that can be distributed. Now that I’m actually putting this down in writing, it seems to me to be more of an excuse. So here I am, sitting in my house safe, praying those hurt and homeless, contributing with clothes and money but not hands on work. I’m irritated with myself. But when I think of volunteering, I think of the number of people already volunteering and of the number of international rescue workers and think of the adage ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’. And then there is also the thought of whether the victims actually do receive all the aid set aside for them. It wouldn’t be the first time that money from genuine causes have been embezzled to fatten the pockets of various middle men. But then again you think, who would be so heartless as to take from these people what they don’t have….

I still don’t know what I’m gonna do, but putting it down on paper has sure helped me….