do you ever really get your thoughts together when you grow up?

within a period of four years things have changed. i left school, chose to pursue an engineering degree and pledged unchanging friendships. my college life is nearing completion and i'm now on the threshold of making decisions that are going to most certainly determine the rest of my life for me, more or less.

i look back and see such a carefree period of my life in school. i had nothing to worry about. no complicated relationships. no undue growing up. friends, excursions, mid term exams, board exams, teachers, the principal's room, maths, muthu ma'm, geography, tutions and best friends describe my school life to the dot. what makes school so much more precious to me is that in the twelfth, when most students study judiciously, those of us in my school had the best days of our lives. we went out for movies, the sleep overs, the chalk fights in class, the best friend fights, the class party for our teachers and we were the only twelfth standard batch to pass out with no principal in attendance. sure our fun and prank playing didnt secure us stupendous marks..but i have such unbelivable memories that no numbers could ever come close to.

then leaving the until-then granted familiarity of school i walked into college. any notion of fun at college was diligently squashed by the academic luminaries of svce. we were left with no doubt of the drudgery we'd unknowingly though voluntarily let ourselves into. and to it was quite a transition from the class oneness of the twelfth to the bitching and back biting and race for friends in college. the closest friend of mine from college today, i made for she was from the same school and nothing else. i knew nothing of her and she knew nothing of me and there were quite a few people who watched as we got to know each other, being as we are as different from each other as possible. but then again that was three years ago. though grudgingly accepted, svce inclusive of everyone from the security guard we zoomed past without outpass to my hod with whom i love to get into arguments purely to annoy him, to my english professors who i love arguing with, the canteen accountant who asks me if i'm ill when i buy only one tiffin token and the clothes vigilance squad of two i owe them all my broadened horizons, my introduction to public transport, my insatiable hunger for food of any kind that is vegetarian, my ability to go to sleep on any vehicle in motion within a half hour and my liberation from stage fear.

the funny thing is i've wanted out of college since the day i stepped in but now that that day is nearing i think these years have flown by too fast. ha irony!

well that specifically leaves me 5 months approximately from having to figure out if i'm going to go get a job, apply to some institute for design or management or turn an entrepreneur or just get myself hooked. and however much tempting it is to say hey let me just get hooked...it'd probably kill me within the month to have to do nothing but mundane homely things when i can't cook to save anybody but myself. and getting a job? i wish there was one tailor made for me with awesome remuneration and travel too. but thats wishful thinking. applying to a university is the simplest. but then again i dont find anything in my line of study to interest me enough into an MS. an MBA is still an option. so is design, the performing arts and literature. the one thing about being exposed to too many things is you get confused. i love too many fields to be able to pick the one that i want to give my all to.

well..i started this post in reminiscance and have come to my predicament today...and if any of u who read this have any advice to offer..your welcome to...but then again i might just do what henry higgins finds most annoying in women....listen to everyone, nod and then go do exactly what i want to do..:)